"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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