it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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