And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize