You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
