I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
