Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
