I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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