i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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