I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
