So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
