i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up under a house in Key West
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
