Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
