you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
