This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
