Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
