Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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