Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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