It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
