I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
