i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize