I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's Friday. Sex?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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