well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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