I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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