I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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