Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize