My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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