Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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