Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
