Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
