i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
