I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
