Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
