is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
