So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
