I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize