I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize