4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He felt like a one man threesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
