I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
