I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
