This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
