Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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