apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
