i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
