I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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