4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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