I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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