I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
