The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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