pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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