Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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