Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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