I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize