Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
