nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish they made helmets for livers.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
