I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
