I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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