people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Use "feeling words"
Yay
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
